Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Monday, December 31, 2018

You may resolve to drop pounds or stash cash, but family is a priority every year

You may resolve to drop pounds or stash cash, but family is a priority every year

by Tom Alberts Dec 31, 2018

Summary: New year’s resolutions are easily broken and rarely become reality. Most resolutions are impractical and abandoned within a month or two. To be successful, resolutions require a strong desire and disciplined motivation. While we tend to focus on health and finances after the first of the year, dedication to family is the top overall priority for most Americans. A resolution to protect yourself and your loved ones through comprehensive estate planning is a realistic objective to consider.

By the time corks fly and calendars flip, less than half of Americans will have resolved to make changes for the better as they begin 2019.

About half of us will make a new year’s resolution, and the rest won’t bother, recent polls say. An estimated 90% of those who’ve made a resolution will have broken it by Jan. 15, and a Forbes report says 80% of those early-January aspirations will be abandoned entirely by February.

Those who vow to improve their lot in life tend to find that new year’s resolutions can be daunting when they set unrealistic goals and overly lofty expectations. It can be impossible to make a resolution become reality, especially if you choose the wrong objective.

Blown budgets make us resolve to spend less and save more. Those Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts inspire us to cut calories and exercise. As a result, health and fitness and finances have become leading contenders on the list of resolutions. Suddenly, we’re motivated to explore automatic savings account transfers and the latest smartwatches that count every step we take.

Do you have practical expectations?

Experts agree that if you want to turn your new year’s resolutions into reality, make them practical and achievable. Don’t try to accomplish too much, they say. Keep them simple. Be patient. Don’t expect perfection. And seek help and encouragement from family, friends, faith and other resources.

Keep in mind that to break a habit, it can take two months of daily diligence, according to a University College London study. Persistence and dedication are key ingredients to success, experts say.

Your resolution is more likely to succeed if you pick quality over quantity, suggests investor, philanthropist and Bridewater Associates founder Ray Dalio. He urges those who plan to make a new year’s resolution “to identify what your ‘one big thing’ is and deal with it.”

“Everyone has weaknesses and they are generally revealed in the patterns of mistakes they make,” Dalio writes in his 2017 autobiography, Principles:Life and Work. “The fastest path to success starts with knowing what your weaknesses are and staring hard at them. … The first step to tackling these impediments is getting them out into the open.”

For Dalio, it’s OK to focus on a single significant shortcoming. If so, you’re likely to knock down the obstacles you confront in life.

“Make it your mission to effectively deal with your ‘one big thing’ in the next year. By having identified it and by constantly keeping it in mind so that it annoys you like a pebble in your shoe, you will find that you will naturally reduce it as a barrier. And by reducing it as a barrier, you will radically improve your life. Then you can go on to the next big challenge or the one after that.”

Are you in the right mindset?

So by the time February rolls around, why do many of us find that getting in shape, kicking a habit, saving money or other resolutions seem out of reach?

“As the saying goes, it’s not the horse that draws the cart, it’s the oats. It’s not the gym, Pilates class or diet that will change you – it’s your mind,” says a U.S. News and World Report article that ponders the annual challenges we create for ourselves.

The way to succeed is found above the shoulders and between the ears, agrees renowned life coach and author Tony Robbins. Unless you are vested in your resolution, he says, you’ll likely shrug your shoulders and try again next year, maybe.

“It’s like the old adage, ‘If you want to take the island, you burn the boats,’” Robbins says. “Because, when you burn those boats, there’s no going back. You’re going to find a way to make things work.”

Robbins provides the following pointers to avoid a detour on the road to your resolutions.

Back your resolutions with a strong desire. Think of the obsessions you may have felt in the past – for a new car, a coveted job or a magical relationship. Pursue your resolution with the same passion, excitement and energy.
Focus the intensity of your emotion. If you keep at it daily, you’ll get to the point where the resolution or goal becomes hard-wired in one’s mind. “When you really get clear and it’s compelling and you are reviewing it every day and have strong reasons to review it every day and are feeling it, the brain becomes incredibly acute at noticing anything to get you to move forward,” he says.
Raise your standards. Make a resolution a “must” and not a “should.” Says Robbins: “If you identify yourself in a new way and you own that every day and that becomes the standard of how you live, you will find a way to make that standard real.”
Follow up with a ritual. “Rituals define us. All the results in your life are coming from your rituals. They start with a standard, and the rituals follow it up. For example, if you are where you want to be physically, you have very different rituals than if you are not where you want to be physically,” he says. If your standard is to be healthy and strong, your ritual should be to eat well and exercise. Persistence will pay off, and you’ll gain momentum every day. “Discipline weighs ounces; regret weighs tons.”

Have you resolved to protect your family?

It’s no surprise, but most Americans surveyed say the meaning in life is found in their obligation to family, followed by careers and money.

“The most popular answer is clear and consistent: Americans are most likely to mention family when asked what makes life meaningful … and they are most likely to report that they find ‘a great deal’ of meaning in spending time with family,” a Pew Research Center study found. Also, one-third of Americans surveyed mentioned children or grandchildren when describing what makes life feel meaningful. Children and grandchildren were the most commonly mentioned specific aspects of family.

Meanwhile when it comes to resolutions, Americans still prefer to take better care of their bodies and their bank accounts – especially in the wake of the holidays.

“The top resolutions among American adults all revolve around two main themes: health and money,” a Harris Poll found. “Most commonly, adults are resolving to eat healthier (29%), save more money (25%), lose weight (24%), drink more water (21%), and/or pay down debt (17%).”

Despite concerns over health and money, only 42 percent of adults have some estate planning documents in place, such as a last will and testament or revocable living trust, to protect themselves and their families, according to a Caring.com survey. What’s worse, the percentage is lower (36%) for parents of children under the age of 18, leaving the kids without a predetermined guardian should the need arise. A still smaller percentage of the adult population has a comprehensive plan with a host of other critical documents, including powers of attorney for health and finances, an advance directive for health care, HIPAA waivers, instructions for digital assets and others.

Family is a top priority for most folks, and there’s a natural desire to be prepared for the life-changing events that may come our way – the addition of a new child, an unexpected serious illness, a marriage or divorce, the tragic loss of a loved one, or our own potential misfortunes.

Nevertheless, many of us remain unprepared.

“I think many Americans avoid setting up a will because they simply don’t want to think about their death,” Texas-based financial coach Craig Dacy told Caring.com. “However, setting up a will not only takes care of your loved ones financially, it can save them a lot of emotional stress after you’re gone.”

A lack of resolve is the leading excuse given by those who’ve failed to address estate planning obligations. The survey found that 47% or respondents said they “hadn’t gotten around to it.”

That’s unfortunate, because without a comprehensive plan, you have a lack of control and a weak link connecting you to your family’s future. If you care about your family but lack a comprehensive plan, you’ll likely start the year with a so-called “pebble in your shoe.”

“This is the ‘I’m going to live forever’ theory. No one literally thinks that, but we all want to believe we are going to live until our 80s or 90s, so we don’t think we need a will right now,” says Debbi King, author of The ABC’s of Personal Finance, told Caring.com. “This isn’t true, of course. We all have an expiration date, and no one knows exactly when it will be. The best thing you can do for your loved ones is have a will now.”

Over the recent Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, you’ve likely spent a good deal of time with loved ones and have the latest information on the family’s long-term needs. If estate planning is that “one big thing” you wish to address this year, you’ve got a head start.

A good place to begin your estate planning quest is with a checklist. Do you and your spouse have wills? Have you nominated guardians for minor children if needed? How about a living will that addresses end-of-life preferences for health care? Do you have a revocable living trust to protect your assets and beneficiaries from the lack of privacy, expense and delays of probate? Are powers of attorney in place to look out for your health and financial interests in the event of your incapacity? Membership with Legacy Assurance Plan enables consumers to accomplish their estate planning mission with the guidance of network attorneys and financial professionals.

As the years pass, family circumstances change, so it’s a good idea to resolve to review your documents annually and update them when necessary. In doing so, you’ll have peace of mind knowing the paperwork is in place to protect you, your loved ones and your eventual beneficiaries.

“Remember that weaknesses don’t matter if you find solutions,” Dalio says.

And those solutions begin with commitment, Robbins says. “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”

Do you have a plan?

There are numerous options and scenarios to consider when developing an estate plan that protects your legacy and achieves your objectives, and important decisions should be made with the advice of qualified lawyers and financial experts. Membership with Legacy Assurance Plan provides members with valuable resources and guidance to develop comprehensive estate plans that take life’s contingencies into consideration and leave a positive impact for generations to come. Legacy Assurance Plan members also receive peace of mind that a team of trusted, experienced professionals will assist them in developing legal, financial and tax strategies that will meet their needs today and for years to come through periodic reviews.

This article is published by the Legacy Assurance Plan and is intended for general informational purposes only. Some information may not apply to your situation. It does not, nor is it intended, to constitute legal advice. You should consult with an attorney regarding any specific questions about probate, living probate or other estate planning matters. Legacy Assurance Plan is an estate planning services-company and is not a lawyer or law firm and is not engaged in the practice of law. For more information about this and other estate planning matters visit our website at www.legacyassuranceplan.com.

This article written and published by:
Legacy Assurance Plan
8039 Cooper Creek Blvd
University Park, Florida 34201
844.306.5272 (Phone)
info@legacyassuranceplan.com (email)
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Friday, November 30, 2018

Prevent haggling over heirlooms to maintain family harmony

Prevent haggling over heirlooms to maintain family harmony

by Tom Alberts Nov 30, 2018

Summary: The distribution of heirlooms is a leading cause of friction within the family when a loved one passes away, experts say. Having a plan in place for the equitable disposition of personal belongings can help diminish the likelihood of disharmony during an already difficult time.

Having a comprehensive estate plan in place gives you peace of mind.

You’ve executed a last will and testament, and your trust will keep your assets out of probate. Your powers of attorney and advance health care directive will protect your interests should incapacity strike. Arrangements have been made to deal with your digital assets. What’s more, you review your legal and planning documents regularly.

So what’s left to worry about?

One issue rising to the top of the list is family members feuding over your belongings, experts say. They warn there’s a tendency of family members to lose their cool in a tug of war over all sorts of items.

“If the passing of heirlooms from one generation to the next is not handled with care, it can lead to long-lasting family disagreements. It is clearly not your intention that your children not speak because one received a valued, though maybe not valuable, picture of their grandfather while the other received a set of silver that had no emotional value to them. It comes as a surprise to many of my clients when I tell them that it is more common that the passing of their ‘things’ leads to family infighting than does the distribution of their money,” says Gabriel Katzner, an estate planning lawyer based in California and New York.

In her book “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” professor Marlene S. Stum, an expert in family economics and gerontology, discusses many of the issues – and conflicts – that arise among families. Stum, like Katzner, warns of the difficulties heirs face when there’s no plan in place for the distribution of personal items.

“The transfer of non-titled property is an issue that impacts individuals regardless of their financial worth, heritage or cultural background. What surprises many people is that often the transfer of non-titled personal property creates more challenges among family members than the transfer of titled property. Why? Personal belongings usually have different meanings for each individual. The sentimental value or meaning attached to the personal property often may be more important than the financial or dollar value,” Stum says.

When passing along certain heirlooms, some families observe traditions. The first daughter to marry, for example, gets grandma’s wedding ring as it passes from one generation to the next. The oldest son has dibs on the grandfather clock, and so on. Perhaps they’ve had family discussions and reached a mutual understanding on how personal items will be distributed.

Other families might be inclined to follow another tradition of a free-for-all in which no plans are made ahead of time. Unless the executor of grandma’s estate changes the locks right away, the process of distributing family keepsakes can resemble an MMA cage match as relatives become rivals and skirmish over prized treasures and trinkets.

“Research has shown that disputes over inheritance and property distribution are one of the major reasons for adult siblings to break off relationships with one another,” Stum says. So, a key goal of the whole process of distributing heirlooms, regardless how it is carried out, is to maintain harmony within the family. Achieving that goal often falls on the shoulders of the estate’s executor.

“The person in charge shouldn’t allow people to start helping themselves,” Bonnie McPherson, who runs an estate sales company, told the StarTribune.comfor an article about dividing up heirlooms.

For most families, it’s unlikely their heirlooms will be revered with the same recent glory as those of the descendants of Alexander Hamiltonand have their own museum exhibit in Philadelphia. Some would-be heirs may consider the antiques, china sets and endless knickknacks as just clutter that conflicts with millennial modernism. Whatever the case, the future of your illiquid assets should be part of your comprehensive planning.

Katzner and Stum suggest some common-sense estate planning steps to prevent infighting and keep the peace during an already challenging time.

Pass on heirlooms before passing away. Katzner says the benefactor gains satisfaction during his lifetime and forms a lifelong bond with the recipients. “By gifting heirlooms during life, you can have a conversation with the recipients as to why you want them to have a specific heirloom and what you hope they will do one day with it.” Stum says that when people make distribution decisions ahead of time, it’s a big help during difficult times. “The process becomes more challenging and sensitive if family members are left to make the decisions when they are grieving over the loss of a relative, selling the home in which they grew up and/or facing the increasing dependence of an older adult.” You can list specific personal effects and mementos and their intended recipients in estate planning documents – your letter of instruction, minutes of trust and directives to a successor trustee.
Specify ahead of time who gets what – in writing. If you fail to make arrangements in your will or trust, your executor will have to serve as the referee to make sure the heirlooms are distributed equitably and to the closest relatives according to the rules of intestacy. “You will want to create a list. On this list will go a schedule of the various family heirlooms and next to each heirloom, you will indicate to whom you wish it to be given,” Katzner says. Stum also recommends preplanning. “Distribution methods that require planning prior to death include: making a gift, labeling items, making a will and preparing a list of personal property specifying the intended recipient.”
Potential heirs can ask, but it’s a sensitive subject. Stum concedes it’s a tough subject to broach and can create anxiety for all parties involved. She suggests looking for natural opportunities to initiate a discussion. “You can provide reassurances by saying something like, ‘Chances are you will be living here for a long time, but if you would have to move or if you are unable to make those decisions in the future, I would like to know what you want so your wishes can be carried out.” The best outcomes tend to occur when choices are clearly communicated and considered by the family as a group, she says.
Develop a standard of fairness. Stum suggests that fair does not always mean equal. “Some family members consider the distribution of belongings to be fair when everyone has received an equal amount. … When dealing with non-titled property, challenges quickly arise about whether equal means an equal number of items, equal dollar value, or equal in terms of emotional value. What makes dividing equally even more difficult is that the sentimental meaning or value of items will differ for each individual.”
How about an auction or lottery? Katzner says that in his experience, a successful distribution method is to auction heirlooms within the family. For example, each family member can be given a certain number of credits. “As items come up for auction, each person may bid their available credits on the item. … This process allows the heirlooms most important to each person to end up with that person.” A lottery process is another way to divvy up items with an air of fairness, Stum says. “Some individuals may feel the process used to decide the way in which transfers are done is more important than who actually gets the items.”
What if I can’t decide? Try a round-robin approach. If you’re not sure who should get what or would prefer to avoid making those decisions, you can leave instructions in your will or trust that your beneficiaries do the deciding. An example of a popular distribution option is to allow one’s heirs, typically the surviving adult children, into the house one at a time. An individual selects an item, it’s logged by the executor or successor trustee, and the next person repeats the process. Heirs then have an equal opportunity to choose items they desire, whether based on value, sentimentality or other any other reason. Once beneficiaries have determined the items they want, the remainder can be given to charity, sold in an estate sale or discarded. Your instructions can establish an order of selection, time limits and other procedures that could help minimize disputes.
Just sell everything. In some situations, family dysfunction simply may be unavoidable. Perhaps you lack confidence that your executor or successor trustee can dispose of your personal belongings without a civil war erupting. You may find that the best way to maintain harmony is to have your personal property sold via estate sale, public auction, eBay, flea market, second-hand store or other means. You can decide the method or leave it up to your representative. The financial proceeds then can revert to the estate. That way, your heirs wind up with cash instead of curios, consternation and contempt.

Monday, December 31, 2018